There is always something to be learnt. Things are not as they seem.
Even at the supermarket.
Especially at the supermarket.
I walked through the turnstile and passed a Manager who I know well enough to say a more than average Good Morning to. As I went to say speak, ‘she’ looked the other way.
I started to presume the whole scenario in my head. You know how it goes…some manager she is, great example for the staff, why am I spending my money here, what side of the bed did she get out of….and so forth .
As I got to the check out, ‘she’ served me. And ‘she’ couldn’t have been nicer. Plenty of interactive small talk. Even called me ‘love’. Sent me off with best wishes for the day.
Now the same incident could have happened on another day and my thoughts would have been completely different.
I walked through the turnstile and passed a Manager who I know well enough to say a more than average Good Morning to. As I went to say speak, ‘she’ looked the other way........
"Oh perhaps she didn’t see me, maybe she is having a bad day, she is the manager she has a lot on her plate, maybe someone in her family is ill"
"Why does everyone ignore me? How rude are people are these days ? Are good manners a thing of the past…out of fashion? My grandmother would turn in her grave !"
And there it is. How easily I am swayed by circumstances. By what I see. By what I feel.
Perhaps ‘she’ genuinely didn’t see me.
Perhaps 'she' had family issues on her mind.
Perhaps 'she' was unwell and still had to come to work.
And the fact that it was one second after opening time and ‘she’ may have been concentrating on controlling the remotes to open the roller doors is completely irrelevant.........
The supermarket trip served to remind me once again how little I actually do know.
And how fickle my feelings really are.
This is what I do know - I am responsible for my response - whatever the circumstances !
Love well even when difficult –
the Exchange is Real xoxo
Does it really matter if you have to drink your coffee from a paper cup?
Not at all to me !
But Yes it’s a deal breaker for my husband, many years ago anyhow.
I had spent plenty of outings complaining about why we couldn’t just get takeaway and wander around with our coffee like ‘normal’ people.
HE couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it.
It spoils the taste.
It’s too cold.
And a fairly decent collection of other reasons which fortunately I forget.
My complaining wasn’t working. My manipulation and sulking only served to drive the paper cup wedge deeper. Such a big problem all over coffee in paper cups?
I devised a brilliant plan and started carrying ceramic cups in the car, my handbag and if I forgot I would buy one from a discount shop. And that seemed to be working. I still thought his take on it was immature and selfish but my gesture bought peace.
He felt valued.
He felt heard.
And for a few extra grams in my bag, I felt I got what I wanted.
To wander together with coffee.
We can so often get stuck on the ME in small things. To me drinking coffee from paper cups is nothing. To him it is important. And I need to realise that if it’s important to him, it needs to be important to me, no matter how ridiculous I may think it is. And while I am stuck on ME , I actually think I don’t have any annoying idiosyncrasies or habits.
How blindsided I really am.
You may think I will never be doing that, carrying ceramic cups or the like – but we have to be open to hear, loving well and valuing relationship over our opinions.
I will reap what I sow. For years I sowed ceramic cups in love, and today I reap as we both drink coffee in paper cups, arms in arm, wandering through shops and markets like ‘normal people’.
And put into all perspective, he is such a good guy, it was such a small thing. He LOVES his coffee in a ‘real’ cup – good on him. I will celebrate that !! I will sit in coffee shops. I will carry ceramic cups if need be. And he will wander with paper cups. It has come full circle and was well worth my pride !!
Love well – even when difficult.
The Exchange is real xo